Pinky's Place

"That which does not kill you will only make you stronger."

Friday, April 21, 2006

On an ass-kicking mission...I'm no one's victim!

You know, I thought my stint with crazy people would come to some sort of standstill for a while. Especially since the episode with purple hair lady was enough drama to last for months. But no, the fates have decided that I haven't been exposed to enough. I'm not sure if this was the kind of exposure that I needed though.

Wednesday morning I was on my way to the Bell Centre (scored the last 6 tickets in the blues for game 6!) with plans of studying at the library after. So, I was waiting at my usual bus stop minding my own business, bopping my head to my mp3 player. Into the bus shelter walks a guy, looks like a student from the french cegep down the street. He was talking on his cell and holding his jacket in one hand. Nothing unusual, right? Since I'm sitting on the bench and the bus schedule is posted up behind me, the guy walks past in front of me to get a closer look. Ok, everything is cool. Then I guess he's finished looking at the bus schedule when he starts to walk back out of the shelter. At that very moment I glanced up. And what do I see?

His d*** hanging out of his pants!!

Now what the hell is this all about?! Honestly, I have to say, I am the queen. For the amount of shock that was running through my brain, I don't think it showed on my face. All I could think was,

"Holy sh*t, his dong is hanging out of his pants!! Should I tell him?!"

Then I thought,

"Wait. Is he doing this on purpose? He looks normal...he doesn't seem like he's trying to do some perverted sh*t. Then again....you never know these days. But what if he just went to pee and forgot to put it back in? But who forgets to put it back in?! But if he really doesn't know, that's super embarrassing and someone should tell him."

All these thoughts were zooming in my mind in the span of about 5 seconds. In those 5 seconds, my bus was coming. I had to make a decision. Tell dong man or don't tell him. The bus stops, the door opens. I wait. Does dong man want to get on the bus? That's going to be crazy, he gets on the bus with his business exposed?! In any case, I get on the bus. In the split second I had, I decided to let him be free.

Dong man never gets on the bus.

I have to say, I was shocked/surprised/traumatized/confused about all this. I mean, one minute I'm in my bus stop getting down to some Mary J. Blige and the next minute, I'm eye level with some strange guy's wee wee. Non consensual, I might add. I'm reeling from shock. It's too early in the morning for me to deal with this. I look out the window. I can see that he's crossing the street and looks headed back from whence he came. What? So, why did he come to the bus stop again? To not catch the bus?

I may have thought about it for another few minutes. Then I think the part of my brain that deals with traumatic incidents blocked it out because seriously, I forgot about the whole episode until two days later! I totally and utterly blocked it out of my mind! I only got reminded of it when I heard someone say the word porn. Then I remembered. Dong man!

I ended up telling my mom about this to see what she had to say. Right away, she said,

"He did it on purpose."

Really? I didn't really think so at the time. I was even beginning to argue with my mom - he didn't look like he was doing it on purpose. He wasn't wearing a trenchcoat, he didn't run up to me, fling his jacket open and say "Yeah, baby!". But now that I think about it, if your business was hanging out there, wouldn't you feel it? I mean, it was breezy, so I'm sure it wouldn't feel the same as if it were tucked away safe in your pants, right? And come on, who forgets to put his business away? The equivalent would be if some girl's boob was hanging out, she would definitely know because you can feel the difference. Then I just got angry. He was exposing himself to me on purpose?!! I feel like kicking his ass. WTF?! Thank goodness, I acted like nothing was wrong and didn't give any type of reaction (at least any noticeable reaction). I feel so decieved, like someone was trying to take advantage of me. How dare he!! Well, guess what buddy? Try harder! It'll take more than a floppy little saucisse to make me blush! Sick pervert! I swear, if I see this punk again, I'll give him a good kick in the crotch. He wanted attention to that area - he'll get it alright.

Now I really feel like kicking someone's ass. I pray that no one pisses me off today when I go to the library (no worries, it's just microbiology this time!).

I'm off to the libby... lord save the perverts 'cause
I'm still pissed.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Biochem + Crazy People = Long Ass Blog

I swear I was just whining about something not too long ago - I guess the problem was that I hadn't actually published any of it. So, once again, I feel compelled to record the events of non-importance in my life.

Well, the monster I call biochem (boo! hiss!) is put to sleep...well, at least until I find out that I may have to have another fight to the death with it. May I emerge the bloody victor this time and not have to go to a round 2. At least I have a few more days in which I can be blissfully ignorant. After that, when I go missing, you'll be able to find me in front of my prof's office banging down the door in hysterics - begging/crying/threatening ( I know kung-fu! Watch yo' ass..) my way to a passing grade.

On a less whiny note:

Living in Montreal, I'm sure we've all had our fair share of encountering crazies. I do believe that they contribute to the richness of this city. However, I am still always surprised when they spring up.
I was on my way to the library 2 Saturdays ago (Gasp! Damn you biochem!) when I was on the metro. I then noticed a woman (with purple hair) cussin' someone out. Or so I thought. I just knew that I wouldn't want to be on the other end of that. So I looked around for the poor victim....but there was none. She was cussin' out....who knows. That was the first sign of trouble. Then we got to Lionel Groulx and since she was standing with her back against the door, it was inevitable that someone trying to get in would most likely bump into her. And of course, that's what happened. A man, on a cane, no less (and a leather biker cap - what?!) ended up bumping into her before taking a seat on the metro. The mad look in her eye was enough to make my blood run cold. She didn't just look pissed. She looked pissed and C-R-A-Z-Y. Like she was going to mess you up. She didn't disappoint me. She proceeded to cuss out a real person now:

"What?! You just go around bumping into people?! No manners? Can't say excuse me?!" and of course the man was taken aback and said:

"Oh, I'm sorry. Excuse me." But I knew better than that. That wasn't good enough. She wasn't going to let him off THAT easily.

"You have a mouth, you should use it! Is it that hard!" Damn. But now it gets really interesting. Man in the biker cap gets feisty.

"Well, maybe you shouldn't stand at the door with your back facing people trying to get in! Or is that too hard for your purple head to understand?!" Whoa. He just insulted a woman's hair. A black woman's hair. I think he may have a had a deathwish. To my surprise, she backed off! I have to say that I was kinda disappointed. There were still snippets of back and forth going on but I couldn't hear properly. But I thought that was the end of that. I was wrong.

Purple hair lady gets off at the next stop and I think, ah well, it was interesting while it lasted. But I notice that as soon as she gets off the metro, she takes her shoes off. No. No, I can barely contain myself. Is she really going to do it?! She picks her shoes up and turns to the metro. Now, my little heart beating like a mouse, I crane my neck around to get a better view. Now, THIS is making my Saturday better. The metro starts to leave and I think, this is it. But no! She doesn't throw her shoes! Which would make some sort of sense to me, but instead she does something so bizarre that I never would have imagined. She turns to the departing metro and screams:

"You have 24 hours to live, starting Thursday!"

What?!

Now, I'm just confused....and a little scared. Did she mean the Thursday that just passed? Or the one coming up? The specificity yet randomness of her hex was throwing me off. After shaking off the confusion, I realized...she just hexed the man!!

I love Montreal.