Pinky's Place

"That which does not kill you will only make you stronger."

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Damn it! Didn't I tell you I ain't no one's victim?!

It must be the way I smell.

No, no. That's not it.

Is it the way I look? Nah, that can't be it. From what people tell me, I usually look quite mean and unapproachable if you just see me walking down the street. My explanation for that, is that crazies don't approach someone who looks just as crazy.

Fine, I concede. It must be some otherworldly force that guides perverts to me. Am I really a pervert magnet?!! Seriously. I thought dong man was an exception. I thought it was just a minor blip along the interesting journey I call life. Oh no. No, no. The drama isn't enough as it is.

So, not only do real perverts like to expose themselves to me in real life, but somehow, the internet perverts find me too! What the hell?!! Do I post nasty pictures and advertise booty calls? No. Are my blogs filled with raunchy stories about nurses in stilettos? No. Are my photographs of flowers and dumplings an indication that I would be interested in how you like to spend your free time? NO!!!!

Damn it.

You may have noticed my flickr badge. Right here, to the right. Yep. I take pictures. I like to post them up. I also like to think that once in a while, I take a cool picture and maybe one day be in the top 500 interesting pictures of the day. It's simplistic and naive, but hey, it doesn't take a lot to please me. My e-mail indicates that someone has added me as a contact on flickr. Now flickr, being just as naive as me, tells me that this may mean that this person really likes my photographs and has bookmarked my page so that they can look at my pictures. Oh, really? Someone likes my pictures? Finally! Someone has some appreciation for my cool angles, the steadiness of my hand, or the just the pure genius behind the photograph. So I thought.

Ok, let me see who this person is.

What, what?!! Did I read properly?!! Is that what his profile really says?!!!

Honest, I almost fell off my chair.

Now, I wish to remain a PG-13 blog with occasional swearing and cartoon violence, so I won't go into details. But what I WILL divulge, is that this guy claims to be well endowed, to the point where he can be the captain of his own pleasureboat, if you know what I mean. And I don't mean the deckhand, but he can toot his own horn. I can't say more than that, if you didn't figure it out, you're more naive than me.

First I'm thinking, this guy is just trying to get people to look at his pictures, which are most likely boring, tacky pictures of his dog or something. However, I got this nagging, weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. My mouse finger had a mind of it's own and left-clicked before I could really figure out what I wanted to do.

Yeah, I fell off my chair this time. But not before my mouse finger clicked the little x in the top right hand corner.

Well, one thing I have to say, is that, at least these perverts aren't liars too.

But shit! How much trauma can my little fragile heart take?! In any case, you're damn right I blocked that nasty mo-fo right quick. And then I cursed myself for my own foolishness. Me and my little:

"The world is a nice place (la dee dah), rainbows and kittens and lollipops! (yay!) Playful puppies and rubber duckies and jujubes! (hooray!) Macaroni penguins and chocolate frosting and butterflies! (wee!)"

When in fact, it really is more like:

"Damn disgusting perverts who can't keep their own (beeps) to themselves! (nasty!) Vile and gross and traumatic! (ug!) Cantankerous and distasteful and scuzzy! (yeah, scuzzy!) Shameless and repugnant degenerate! How dare he try to add me as a contact so that he can fulfil some sick desire for innocent eyes to pass over the by-product of exhibitionism! How dare he try to besmirch my honour!!"

I'm sure I'm not the only one out there that this sort of thing has happened to. I just really am confused as to how I would be selected to be on the receiving end. I mean, ok, in real life maybe I don't look as intimidating as I would like to think I am so maybe dong man took advantage of the fact that I don't look like I can kick his ass (which he is completely wrong about, I can SO kick his ass). But over the internet?! Seriously. Maybe there are just more perverts than I thought out there that try to recruit more perverts for kicks. I dunno. Maybe I should start posting more pictures of me beating people up as a sort of "I can whup yo' ass Shaolin monk style, young grasshopper" message.


But I guess for now, just to be clear:

If I didn't invite it, I don't want to see it cause I can whup yo' ass Shaolin monk style, young grasshopper.


  • At May 30, 2006 2:47 a.m., Blogger jessica said…

    Now this is what a call a no-pretensions kind of entry.

    if you were to choose, you would rather be:
    a. taxicab
    b. anything
    c. pinoy
    d. a movie
    e. a rumor

  • At May 31, 2006 1:56 p.m., Blogger Taiyou chan said…

    man that's slightly messed up... i got random ppl adding me to their contact... but they were not perverts... flickr's not safe either i guess.. you can flag the pictures as offensive by the way. I'm sure the admin would do something about it.
    The world is so not safe... >_<

    But at least reading your blog woke me up from my after lunch work hours. Was falling asleep. =p


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